Neda Vacacion is the President of Creepy Crawl Condo in Broward County.  Neda couldn’t be happier that Labor Day is finally here.  Neda promised herself and her family that today, for once, her condo duties will take the back seat to simply relaxing and being Mom.

Neda needs to go to Publix to purchase enough food to make the family a delicious lunch.  It’s going to be a great day.  The fun starts as soon as she gets back.  That is……if she ever gets back.

The insanity start as soon as Neda opens the door to her unit.  Carmen Chaos catches Neda in the hallway and wants to know why Carmen isn’t in condo school today as Carmen heard that condo directors now need to take 400 hours of condominium educational courses.  Neda explains that it’s not 400 hours but only 4.  Carmen says that Neda won’t learn a thing in four hours, is taking up space on the Board and promises to research the matter further.  Neda takes a deep breath and marches on.

That is, until the elevator swings open and who is standing there decked out in white shoes, white knee-high socks and smoking a cigar?  It’s Ralph Retired.  Ralph heard that the condo’s insurance doubled and demands that the condo contact his son, who Ralph swears is the brightest insurance agent in the business.  For a few bucks, Ralph promises to make the introduction.  Neda says she will let Ralph know.

The elevator finally gets down to the first floor.  After choking from Ralph’s smoke, Neda gets off the elevator, makes a mad dash for the exit and almost makes it.  Sara Sidewinder jumps in from of Neda and demands to know why the condominium is suddenly going through some expensive inspections and even more expensive repairs.  Neda reminds Sara that the new laws require these inspections and mandatory repairs.  It’s out of her control.  Sara tells Neda that she will be hearing from her son-in-law Sam Shyster, the lawyer.

Neda makes a mad dash for her car.  Publix can’t come fast enough.  She makes it!  It’s finally going to be a great day.  That is until she gets to the bakery aisle.  Charlie Cheap stops his argument with the Publix employee about the price of bread and is now zeroed in on Neda.  His attack is relentless.  Charlie heard that the Board is thinking about putting reserves in the budget and tells Neda that no matter what the Board does, he will never pay it.  He’s 94 years old and won’t pay for a roof that needs replacing in 21 years.  He tells Neda that he already has a pacemaker and probably won’t live to 115.  Charlie tells Neda to sue him but she’ll never get one dam penny.

Neda has a migraine.  She picks up her cell phone to call her family to say she is not cooking today.  Her husband picks up and tells her that there’s a crowd of people in the house waiting for her.  They’re upset that the condo’s cleaning staff is nowhere to be seen.  They demand to know what the hell they’re paying for.  They won’t take “It’s Labor Day” as an excuse.

Neda tells her husband that she will be at her mother today and not to tell any of the condo residents.

Dedicated to those Board Members who give it their all throughout the year.