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IT’S LABOR DAY -- SIT BACK AND RELAX
By
Eric Glazer, Esq.
Published September 7, 2015
It’s been a tradition for the
last few years in this blog to talk about how various Presidents
of their community association spend their Labor Day. After
all, the President of your association not only worked the whole
year for your association, but did so free of charge. (But for
those who were arrested for thinking they were entitled to a
paycheck).
David Doonutin is the
President of Barely Standing Condo Association in Miami. Last
year he too thought he deserved the day off. David works at his
son in law’s management company, Hida Records, during the week.
Today, he wanted to sleep in. Sure enough however, he woke to
the sounds of dripping water coming from his bathroom. Once
again, his upstairs neighbor, Gay Shluffin had fallen asleep in
the tub, causing it to overflow, wrecking David’s bathroom
ceiling. David vows that this is the last time Gay will get
away with this.
After calling the
association’s handy man to come in on his day off, Dominick
Defraud comes in to shut off the water. David now thinks it’s a
good idea to just leave the house for a few hours. Before he
gets a chance to lock the door, his next door neighbor Patricia
Panic wants to know why everyone hasn’t put up their shutters
and why the pool furniture is still out. She heard that
Tropical Storm Erika is actually reforming and is aiming
straight for the Barely Standing Condominium.
The elevator arrives and
David is eager to get on. But there is Lynda Liar with her two
pit bulls that she claims are her emotional support animals.
She lovingly refers to them as Killer 1 and Killer 2. David
decides to wait for the next elevator while he curses the
association’s attorney for not getting the damn dogs out
already.
David makes it to the first
floor. Diana Duover is standing by the mailboxes trying to get
everyone in the building to recall David. She wants
signatures. Diana believes David is unqualified for President
because the association’s new cable company no longer carries
“The Soap Channel” and David should have known this before
signing that bulk contract. David reminds her that “The Soap
Channel” doesn’t even exist any longer and Diana accuses David
of having something to do with that as well.
David decides the best way to
unwind is by doing a few laps in the pool. There’s no peace
there either. Kitty Complainer and Sara Shouter are accusing
each other of cheating in the poolside Mah Jong game. Sara
reminds Kitty that Kitty’s husband dated her first in the 40s in
Brooklyn and that she still doesn’t know what Kitty’s husband
sees in her. It was getting ugly.
David is now looking to run.
He gets in the car, starts the engine and backs up. Only to
have Bruce Blindly slam into his side door. Bruce starts
cursing David even though Bruce was clearly at fault. Bruce
promises to sue David and wind up owning the whole dam condo
after he is finished with David.
David gets to the security
gate. After waking up the guard, David asks him if all is OK.
The guard says he’s not sure because someone stole the video
cameras from the security booth. David goes to the beach.
At the end of a long day,
David just wants to go to sleep. He gets past the guard gate.
He gets through the lobby. He rides up the elevator and walks
into his apartment. So far so good. He climbs into bed. Turns
out the light and hears …………drip, drip drip. Gay is in the bath
again.
To all Presidents and Board
members out there…..here’s hoping your Labor Day is better than
David’s.
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About
HOA & Condo Blog
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Eric Glazer graduated from
the University of Miami School of Law in 1992 after
receiving a B.A. from NYU. He has practiced community
association law for more than 2
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decades and is the owner of Glazer
and Associates, P.A. a seven attorney law firm with offices in
Fort Lauderdale and Orlando and satellite offices in Naples,
Fort Myers and Tampa.
Since 2009, Eric has been the host
of Condo Craze and HOAs, a weekly one hour radio show that airs
at noon each Sunday on 850 WFTL.
See:
www.condocrazeandhoas.com.
He is the first attorney in the
State of Florida that designed a course that certifies
condominium residents as eligible to serve on a condominium
Board of Directors and has now certified more than 10,000
Floridians all across the state. He is certified as a Circuit
Court Mediator by The Florida Supreme Court and has mediated
dozens of disputes between associations and unit owners. Eric
also devotes significant time to advancing legislation in the
best interest of Florida community association members.
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