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A LABOR DAY TRADITION CONTINUES
By
Eric Glazer, Esq.
Published September 7, 2020
After living at Peaceful Paradise Condominium for 10 years and
minding her own business, Darlys Dogooder decides that she
hasn’t done enough volunteer work in her life and chooses to
become a Board member. In fact, Darlys goes on to be a role
model board member, devoting countless hours to her condominium,
but today being Labor Day, she decides to take a day off to
unwind.
Darlys gets up early and decides to take a swim. She gets to
the pool and jumps in. Bob Boycott sees her jump in and screams
at her that their signs read “No Diving.” To make matters
worse, Bob wants the pool closed due to the Corona Virus and
threatens Darlys with a tape measure, vowing to measure the
distance between anyone who enters the pool and let Governor
DeSantis know immediately if anyone gets closer than 6 feet from
anyone else. Ironically, Bob isn’t wearing a mask.
Bob goes away eventually and Darlys finally gets some quiet.
Until Rick Republican enters the pool. Rick asks Darlys if when
the pool closes at 5:00 pm he can cover it with a huge Trump
2020 banner, and he’s going to make the condo next door pay for
it. Darlys says no and now wants out of the pool.
The condo is in the middle of a new paint job. Darlys enters
the lobby and Don Democrat approaches. He starts screaming that
he heard the Board is allowing Rick Republican to cover the pool
with a Trump 2020 banner and demands that he be allowed to cover
the now bare walls with “Biden 2020” posters and that the paint
job be halted until after the November 3rd election.
Don Democrat of course also calls for Darlys’ impeachment.
Darlys races to the elevator hoping to just get back up to her
unit in one piece. Of course Bill Bicep is already there. He
wants to know why the dam gym isn’t open yet. Darlys explains
all about safety and the government regulations, but Bill won’t
hear any of it. He flexes and promises not to pay another
dollar in assessments until he gets to go back in the gym.
Darlys smiles and says she understands, afraid that Bill is
about to break her in half.
The elevator opens. There stands Sandy Snake. She has a 10
foot long Cobra named Venom wrapped around her neck. Sandy
tells Darlys that’s she’s aware of all the new emotional support
animal laws and that Venom is here to stay. Sandy asks Darlys
if she wants to put Venom around her neck, but Darlys declines.
Darlys finally gets back in her unit. The phone rings. Darlys
thinks “should I get it?” Suppose it has to do with the condo?
I need a day off! Darlys feels guilty and picks up the phone on
the 4th ring. It’s her downstairs neighbor Tom
Toughguy, head of the fining committee, complaining about a leak
in the bathroom. Apparently, Darlys left her bathtub running
before going to the pool. Tom threatens to fine her a million
dollars.
At the end of the day, the one day that Darlys wanted to relax
and forget about the troubles at Peaceful Paradise, Darlys
finally opens the weekend mail. The association has sent out
its first Notice of Annual Meeting asking again for Board
volunteers. Darlys sets fire to the envelope and goes to sleep.
Dedicated to all of the Board Members who give it their all day
after day.
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About
HOA & Condo Blog
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Eric Glazer graduated from
the University of Miami School of Law in 1992 after
receiving a B.A. from NYU. He has practiced community
association law for more than 2
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decades and is the owner of Glazer
and Sachs, P.A. a seven attorney law firm with offices in
Fort Lauderdale and Orlando and satellite offices in Naples,
Fort Myers and Tampa.
Since 2009, Eric has been the host
of Condo Craze and HOAs, a weekly one hour radio show that airs
at noon each Sunday on 850 WFTL.
See:
www.condocrazeandhoas.com.
He is the first attorney in the
State of Florida that designed a course that certifies
condominium residents as eligible to serve on a condominium
Board of Directors and has now certified more than 10,000
Floridians all across the state. He is certified as a Circuit
Court Mediator by The Florida Supreme Court and has mediated
dozens of disputes between associations and unit owners. Eric
also devotes significant time to advancing legislation in the
best interest of Florida community association members.
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